it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
