I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I bet he comes in French.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
worst night to have a conscience
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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