Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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