What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
