am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
