Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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