I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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