if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
