We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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