when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
