i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
