...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
