He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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