She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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