I need help removing her.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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