Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
