At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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