Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
