I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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