Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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