I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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