We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Randomize
