Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
