i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
