i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
