Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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