? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
