yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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