Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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