return my video game
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
