i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
