The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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