K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
