party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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