you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
