I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
