I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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