I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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