White coat. Heels.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
is wine microwaveable?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
