you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
