i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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