I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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