She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
