I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Mom said you looked used
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
