Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
