I must be too annoying 4 u.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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