When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
