Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
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