Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
