somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Sober January is a disaster.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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