People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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