this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
