Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
