Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
