if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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