apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm always down for nudity.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
