My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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