she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
