I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
