I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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