My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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