Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Randomize
