WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
