Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
